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Now that the disclaimer's out of the way, let's get on with the parody! And remember, you've been warned...
- Spirit-of-HALO/Killjax as Michael "Mickey" Crespo
- Ajax_013 as Kojo "Romeo" Agu
- Smoke as Taylor "Dutch" Miles
- CommanderTony as Edward "Eddie" Buck
- Kougermasters as the Rookie
- Nicmavr as the Rookie
- Specops306 as the Superintendent
Note that, in keeping with time-honored Halopedia tradition, Specops306 is once again background scenery, albeit a sentient piece of background scenery this time! :P