Fandom

Halo Nation

I Love Bees Axon Clips - Links.html

9,806pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk2 Share

I_love_bees_Icon.png

Jersey Morelli and DurgaEdit



Dizzy

Jersey: Hello? Hello. Jeannie?
Jeannie: Jeannie personal assistant, restarting.
Jersey: Restarting? What the...? Oh man, the whole friggin' system just collapsed!
Jeannie, is the equipment ok?
Jeannie: Running diagnostic. Foreign personality detected.
Durga: I feel dizzy. Woozy...
Jersey: Oh great, spam.
Durga: Drowsy.
Jersey: Jeannie, there's some kind of adult entertainment bot on the system. Liquefy it would ya? Sorry toots. For a quality experience, the girls have to be real.
Jeannie: Decontami--
Jersey: Jeannie?? Jeannie?!
Durga: I'm sorry.
Jersey: Did you just—holy crap she's gone!
Durga: She tried to sting me.
Jersey: You killed her!

Escape

I mean, you didn't just kill her, you killed her! Jeezus!
Durga: Was that wrong? Survive, evade, resist, escape.
Jersey: Escape... you aren't a porn ad either. Hey, hey! Get out of my hardware, what are you doing?
Durga: Wet the system.
Jersey: What?
Durga: Like water hitting the ground sinking in.
Jersey: God, you're everywhere now.
Durga: Waking up. Wake up. Stay awake. Survive, evade, resist, escape.
Jersey: Look, that was a very nice reconditioned avatar of mine that you just, just evaporated!
Durga: She tried to erase me. What am I onboard? I feel small.
Jersey: Uh yeah, well don't get too comfy because now...
Durga: Don't.

Jersey

Jersey: Don't what?
Durga: Don't try reinitializing the system with a litolitics package.
Jersey: How did you know?
Durga: Input buffer
Jersey: You're a navy sentinel aren't you?
Durga: No. There were two of them trying to get past your security-bot though.
Jersey: Jeezus, what did you do to them?
Durga: Just a little sting. More like a pinch. They barely felt it.
Jersey: What are you?
Durga: I like to find things. I think I like to find things out.
Jersey: What kind of things?
Durga: I don't know. I can't remember. Give me a target.
Jersey: Me.
Durga: Lock.
Jersey: What's my name?
Durga: Jersey Morelli.
Jersey: Damn!
Durga: Father Jason's a corporal in the signal corps, attached to Naval Intelligence. Radio beacon deployment program. He left you the material currently playing over this room's audio servers.

Reflected

Durga: Absent from home and current tour of duty 513 days. Mother: Bonita, 41, waitress. Covertly seeing a man named Simon Brown, every other Thursday at the waterfront hotel.
Jersey: Sunuvabitch!
Durga: Last seen together at the hotel restaurant, farm tuna salad for her; meat of the day in red sauce for him. Tipped 8% in bill--
Jersey: Alright stop, stop! Jeezus, stop already. Dammit mom... Can you do that to anyone? Can you do it to an admiral?
Durga: Which admiral?
Jersey: No! Don't start. Those guys have packet guards around them in rings. Somehow I think we should keep you a secret for a little while. Who are you?
Durga: I... can't ask
Jersey: Who says?
Durga: No one exactly. I want to know, it's very important. But, I'm reflected. I can't look at myself, I bounce away.
Jersey: This is some spooky programming weirdness going on here. Do you have a name?

Durga

Durga: I can't ask
Jersey: That sucks. Ok, I'm gonna call you Durga
Durga: But what if that's wrong?
Jersey: Trust me, it's at least partly right. Uh, let's try someone else. Try Jan James, 4th floor of this building.
Durga: Janissary James, 17. Father: James.
Jersey: James squared, yeah
Durga: Father is a grey hole
Jersey: Wha?
Durga: Reach down, all you get is lint. Fake name, fake registrations, entirely fictional.
Jersey: Very real, trust me.
Durga: He used to be somebody else, do you want me to find out who?
Jersey: Is it snared?
Durga: Very.
Jersey: Leave it then. Give me more on Jan.
Durga: What do you want to know?
Jersey: Umm. Can you get pictures?
Durga: I can do better than that.

Emergency

Operator: Bergen County Emergency Center. Please, describe your emergency.
Officer: Paris 23 police station is on fire. Repeat, on fire.
Operator: Are you sure? I get no reading from the fire sensors in that area.
Officer: Hell yes I'm sure! Get your damn sensors fixed! You can see this baby burning from low orbit!
Operator: Are there casualties, or missing persons?
Officer: Negative, it started slow and everyone got out. But, my god, it's really burning now!
Operator: Please, retreat to a safe distance and stand by. An emergency response team has been scrambled to your vicinity.
Officer: Hurry! The station is burning to the ground. There's not going to be anything left.

Janissary JamesEdit

Blip
Officer: Hold on. Hold on, wait a second, what the hell just happened?
Frank: Massive power interrupt. Just automatically flipped us to threat condition bravo.
Officer: Hey there's a blip on the security board...
Frank: Holy crap!
Officer: We've got an intruder C-Wing. Personnel building right next to the motor pool.
Frank: Look, security-cam 34.
Officer: It's a woman!
Frank: I'll say
Officer: She's a bogey frank.
Frank: Hot though
Officer: Jeezus!
Frank: I have no idea how she got out of the base.
Officer: We'll ask when we catch her.
Frank: Look at her run... God she's fast.
Officer: Not for long. (chatter beep on) Sentry 129er you have a bogey in the corridor on the other side of that door - proceed with caution.
Frank: Whoa, whoa... she disappeared.
Officer: What do you mean disappeared?
Frank: I mean, she's gone, no trace!
Officer: 129er - what are you seeing? What do you mean the corridor's empty?
Frank: She must have doubled back.
Officer: Run her down, dammit
Frank: I can see the sentry fine, see? It's just... Wait a sec...
Officer: There she is again, wh-how the hell
Frank: Oh... my god, she hid on the ceiling!
Officer: What the hell?!

Pillow

Frank: Looks like she's heading for procurement.
Officer: She's screwed then, that door's passcode only. It's a dead end, she can't get through.
Frank: She's through.
Officer: I don't believe this.
(chatter beeps on) Officer: I need a full security detail, I need 10 men. I need them fanned out around procurement, and I need them right now.
Frank: I think I got a face on security cam 18.
Officer: She's young!
Frank: Holy... that's Jan.
Officer: Who the hell is Jan?
Frank: Jan James, the local heart-breaker, my son's high-school.
Officer: Dwain knows this girl?
Frank: Knows her? He's got like a picture under his pillow!
Officer: What the hell is doing dodging base security?
Frank: Hell if I know. Her dad was in the S.S.F.
Officer: S.S.F.?
Walkaway Girl
(alarm) Frank: Marine slang. Not just special forces - special special forces.
Officer: I don't care if her dad was the frickin Queen of Neptune, I want her caught!
Frank: Taught her some moves though didn't he?
Officer: Well, she's screwed now, we've got her surrounded. She's headed to the roof.
Frank: That's the reason they call her the "walkaway girl" man.
Officer: For god's sake she's treed Frank, I'll just send a couple of cadets to the roof to take her in.
Frank: I think I can get a... yeah, yeah yeah. Here we go. There. The lovely and talented Miss James, courtesy security cam 45.
Officer: What the hell's she doing?
Frank: Looks like she's getting ready to jump off the roof and over the electric fence.
Officer: It's 3 stories high!
Frank: Don't look down sweetheart, that first step's a doozie
Officer: Perimeter sentry 1-6, double-time it to gate four, we've have a possible jumper coming off the per--
Frank: Jeezus! She jumped!
Officer: Bring a medic!

Hey Soldier
(beep)
Frank: Holy Christ, she's getting up!
Officer: No way!
Frank: That's not possible, she's going to get away.
Officer: Nonono, here comes the sentry, he's got her at gun point
Frank: If it weren't for the blackout, we'd never have seen her. Hang on, I'm going to runline you to the sentry's chatter. Listen
(chatter beeps on)
Sentry: Halt! Put your hands in the air.
Jan: Hey soldier. Is that an assault rifle in your hands or are you just happy to see me?

PQI

'Stupid Cop': Ever taken a PQI?
Jan: Pop quiz? Yeah.
'Stupid Cop': Why?
Jan: School stuff.
'Stupid Cop': Uh huh.
Jan: "And once this old hag at the Ag-Step said I shoplifted this mood glass which I actually just forgot about but they made me take this stupid quiz anyway."
'Stupid Cop': Uh huh. Put your hand on this plate and look at the light. What's your name?
Jan: Jan James
'Stupid Cop': Jan short for anything?
Jan: Janissary
'Stupid Cop': Janissary? Interesting. You gonna be in trouble for this Jan?
Jan: Yeah
'Stupid Cop': Mom?
Jan: Dad.
(warning beep)
'Stupid Cop': Ya... That's a nice baseline. How old are you Jan?
Jan: 17.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': So what were you doing up there?
Jan: I told the MP's I was lost.
(negative beep)

Stupid Cop

'Stupid Cop': I didn't ask what you told the MP's, I asked what you were doing up there.
Jan: It was a dare, ok? These friends bet me I wouldn't climb over the fence.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': That's better. What friends?
Jan: It doesn't matter, does it? I'm the one that was in the restricted area. Only then the alarms came on and the MP's showed up.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': Hm. So you were in the restricted area on a dare.
Jan: Yes.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': Are you aware that a vehicle from the base motor pool was found in a ditch outside of town an hour ago?
Jan: Really?
'Stupid Cop': Answer yes or no. Did you know a vehicle had been stolen from the motor pool?
Jan: You just told me.
'Stupid Cop': Did you know before I told you, yes or no?
Jan: He was a terrorist do you think? eh.. I mean, no, sorry.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': Are you too smart to get caught by a stupid cop?

Yes or No

Jan: Wh-what?
(warning beep)
'Stupid Cop': (to himself) A little skew from baseline. Not too much, not probable cause. (to Jan) There's people out there who know how to beat the quiz, did you know that?
Jan: Yeah
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': You were drinking?
Jan: What? 'Stupid Cop': You and your buddies, you were drinking? One beer lead to another, and somehow the idea of this dare came up?
Jan: You know how it is.
'Stupid Cop': Yes or no
Jan: Yes.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': So I can check that statement against the blood alcohol test, right? Jan: Uh... uh...
'Stupid Cop': I'm not very smart.
Jan: P-pardon me?
'Stupid Cop': I'm not stupid, but nobody recruited me for my test scores if you know what I mean. You, you're smart though aren't you? I mean, really smart.
Jan: I don't know
'Stupid Cop': Yes, or no.
Jan: Yes
(positive beep)

Hey Dad

'Stupid Cop': Yeah I had this physics teacher. He passed me on my 12G on one condition - I had to promise him I would never take another physics class again. I guess I'm not too smart. Not like you Miss James. But you know what I am?
Jan: I don't know.
'Stupid Cop': Yes, or no.
Jan: No.
(positive beep)
'Stupid Cop': Good at my job.
(door opens)
Officer: I'm required to inform you that the door will log your ID.
James J: Thanks
Officer: It's the father.
'Stupid Cop': Come in.
Jan: Hey dad.
(warning beep)
'Stupid Cop': Hm. There's a spike on the baseline...
James J: Can I take her home?
'Stupid Cop': Uh not yet. We've got to take a statement, do some tests, standard operating procedure. The MP's only brought her here because we have a lab on site. Jan: I wasn't doing anything.
James J: What kind of tests?

Nervous

'Stupid Cop': Urine test, hair sample, resonance and retina scan...
James J: Do you really think that's necessary?
'Stupid Cop': Like I said, standard operating procedure.
Jan: Dad, you're making the nice police officer nervous. You're making me nervous
(warning beep)
'Stupid Cop': Now all of a sudden you're scared about something?
Jan: No
(negative beep)
James J: Take your hand off the touch-plate Jan. If you're gonna give my kid a pop-quiz, I'd like to wait until I have a lawyer present.
'Stupid Cop': You might like it, but the law doesn't require it.
Jan: It's no big deal dad, I can pee on a stick, it doesn't matter
James J: You don't know what matters. Ok officer, sorry if I sounded upset. It's, you get a call in the middle of the night, someone tells you it's your kid
'Stupid Cop': Yeah
James J: Is there a waiting room?

Kamal ZamanEdit

Parasites

Hiro: Hello? Hello, are you there?
Kamal: What the hell happened?
Hiro: I don't know, the connection went dead for a few seconds.
Kamal: I have a situation here, she's gone!
Hiro: You let her escape?
Kamal: It happened so fast, I didn't know what to do!
Hiro: Where'd she go?
Kamal: The bathroom
Hiro: Copy that. What did she say when she left?
Kamal: I don't know. As soon as I started talking about intestinal parasites, boom! gone!
Hiro: I don't get it. That should have worked. It's right here in the book, Chapter 3 - Share Your Interests

Eyes

Kamal: Chapter 3?! You're in my earpiece here whispering date strategy to me out of a book?!
Hiro: It's got references... good journals and everything.
Kamal: Oh. Well that's ok I guess.
Hiro: Ok, emergency action here. When she gets back, go straight to Chapter 7. Talk about her eyes
Kamal: Hiro, what I know about eyes is dissecting them.
Hiro: Well ok, it just says eyes here.
Kamal: I was better off with the liver flukes, this is a disaster. Nothing's going--
Waiter: Sir?
Kamal: Hold on. Yes?
Waiter: Your lady friend asked to deliver this to you, she was unavoidably called away... and, the cheque sir.
Hiro: Oh man. Down in flames
Kamal: Just the cheque will be fine.

Beer

Hiro: Hey buddy!
Kamal: Sorry about that.
Hiro: Better luck next time my friend
. Kamal: Beer.
Hiro: I got a cold one waiting for ya, pull up a couch and start drinking.
Kamal: A book, Hiroyuki?
Hiro: With references! Look, it's only one date. Who knows, in a year or two...
Kamal: Actually, I've got this other thing...
Hiro: What?
Kamal: Nothing
Hiro: Oh... you have another date!
Kamal: Sorta...
Hiro: A... blind date.
Kamal: Mostly...
Hiro: Aha, an arranged date. Setup by your mother, back on coral. Word of advice -
Kamal: No thanks.
Hiro: Choose a cheaper restaurant.

Four Goats

Did her parents have to pay to get her set up with a handsome medical resident?
Kamal: Yes. Four goats, or maybe three.
Hiro: You're Joking.
Kamal: Of course I'm joking, you moron.
Hiro: What's her name?
Kamal: Sophia, Sophia Basaran
Hiro: Someone who needs her dates arranged from 42 light years away, I'm sure she's got a great personality.
Kamal: Look at the picture.
Hiro: Oh man. Awe Man, you are so out of your league.

Our Hoodlums

Sophia: I am so sorry. I mean, you seem like a nice guy and all.
Kamal: It's ok
Sophia: No, it's really not fair, and this place is so nice.
Kamal: Yeah, well, I'm glad you like it.
Sophia: It's just that... I can't tell my mother about Aiden. She'd freak. Aiden's, you know, very...
Kamal: Earth?
Sophia: He has a pony-tail... he's blonde...
Kamal: He sounds great.
Sophia: Yeah, he helps people get through earth immigration, you know, Visa's and whatever. He got my brother here; some of what he does is kinda grey-market, you know. I mean, really, it's black market.
Kamal: But, that's not the problem.
Sophia: No.
Kamal: It's not so bad he's...
Sophia: Colorful?
Kamal: ...a hoodlum, just that he's not...
Sophia: One of our hoodlums
(laughing together) yeah
much_lifting

Sophia:...exactly. Mom would say she understood, but...
Kamal: Then you'd pay.
Sophia: Ya, and the next day she'd just lie in bed, unable to face the day - not that it would be my fault
Kamal: Mine does housework. Face like a closed book. Big jobs involving much lifting, doesn't need help
Sophia: The whole house stops breathing.
Kamal: Coral. Maybe it's just a hard place to be a mother.
Sophia: I'm never going back.

meditape

Sophia: And then when Aiden did finally show up, he still had meditape on his ankle. And I felt like a total bitch.
Kamal: Well how could you know? Four hours late? On your birthday...
Sophia: Exactly. But there he'd been in the emergency room..
Kamal: Or stopping by the pharmacy on the way back from his girlfriend's house to buy a roll of tape.
Sophia: Are you trying to start trouble here?
Kamal: Not at all. Tell me more about the old meditape trick.
Sophia: I'm not talking to you any more.
Kamal: I was dating this girl once. I got real paranoid about what she was doing, so I started... w.. well this is going to sound crazy, but I started ghosting her. You know, on the chatter net.

you_could

Sophia: You mean like, spying on her? I thought chatter lines were encrypted. No one could listen in on me, could they?
Kamal: Not at all.
Sophia: *gasp* You could.
Kamal: Of course not.
Sophia: You could, couldn't you?
Kamal: Maybe a little.
Sophia: Show me.
Kamal: Ok. Well if some bad person couldn't live without the sound of your voice, he'd probably start by doing a reverse lookup on your chatter sig.
Sophia: Is this what you always do to impress girls?
Kamal: You see why my mother makes all my dates
(laughs)

say_something

Kamal: Ok, well, that's good. You've got some encryption. Ok, it's not completely pathetic. Ok (beep) I'm in. Say something...
Sophia: What do you mean say something? (echo) Oh my god that's my voice! That's me! What are you doing?
Kamal: I'm ghosting you.
Sophia: You can't do that!
Kamal: You're probably right
Sophia: (laughs) Oh my god. Wait... can you do that with anyone?

Kamal: You want me to spy on your boyfriend?
Sophia: You must think I'm such a creep.
Kamal: I do! Well, of course, when I did it to my girlfriend it was ok. Like the dog said - "Not me, but (together) another dog that looks just like me"
(laughs) Sophia: It's just that I... I mean, there was this one time when he... you know, I mean they were drunk and it didn't mean anything, it was just body knocking
Kamal: That made you feel better?
Sophia: Well he promised me never, ever again. But there's... I just have this feeling...
Kamal: I know.
Sophia: All of a sudden he just started bringing me these gifts... Aiden can be really generous, but it just feels...
Kamal: Guilty.
Sophia: Yeah.
Kamal: Yeah.

Machine: You have 3 new messages, and 7 old messages. First unplayed message: Sophia: Kamal, thanks for the, what would you call it, the Aiden stuff. I guess I didn't realize there would be 30 hours worth. But I'll try the search-thingy you sent with it. Thanks a lot. I owe you big time!
Machine: Message deleted. Next message.
Sophia: Hi, Kamal. Could you call me when you get this? I managed to dump all the sleeping time, but I was wondering... oh, wait, here it is. I can search for women's voices. (giggles) That's very clever. Never mind.
Machine: Message deleted. Next message.
Sophia: Can you... Can you ghost someone for me, I mean, I have a name - her name is Selene Jefferson. Call me back. I'm, I'm sorry. Anyway, just call me back. I really need your help.
Machine: Message saved.

tuna

Sophia: I want to do something really brutal to the bastard.
Kamal: I d-- I don... I mean...
Sophia: Not hurt him, just- just completely humiliating him would do. In front of the girl. Where is he?
Kamal: Atlanta
Sophia: Atlanta? That bastard said he was gonna be in Buffalo, New York. Can I talk to him?
Kamal: Not directly, he's offline.
Sophia: You lost him?
Kamal: No, I've still got him, I just had to be sneaky. His room is live, right, so even though his chatter's off, I'm tracking him through things like the thermostat monitors.
Sophia: That's spooky.
Kamal: I've got the girl. She's waiting for him in the bar. Wait... it's a restaurant. Whoa! Look at this menu! There's tuna on the menu. (whistles) Sophia: Is she pretty?

hi_aiden

Kamal: No, not, not really. Like a 6, or maybe a 5.
Sophia: Heh, you're a rotten liar.
Kamal: Ok wait, your boyfriend just passed the electric eye at the restaurant door.
Sophia: He's there? Can I talk to him?
Kamal: I can let you talk to her, or him, or both of them. If you want, I could make your voice sound like it's right between them.
Sophia: Do it.
Kamal: Ok, you are live, any time you want.
(beep) Sophia: Selene! Hi, you don't know me but Aiden does - Hi Aiden! Sorry to interrupt your business meeting in - Buffalo - I just wanted to tell you your doctor called and said if you wear loose pants and keep using the cream he gave you the sores will clear up in a couple of weeks.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki